Management of words

Words have the power to make or break lifetime relations, both personal and professional. During the most heated arguements there are just a few words that are responsible for deciding the fate of the relationship. And all it takes is a little self-control and prudence in selecting one's words. How does one do this? Here are a few points:

1. Make sure your words pass the three gate test - are they honest, kind and necessary? If not, please don't utter them.

2. Do not use offending words (words that hurt someone's dignity).

3. Do not judge others and give a name unless that's your job.

4. Make a habit of using more positive words-like I did a few days back when I had to send an SMS to a friend. First I wrote, "Please do not forget to...."; then I reminded myself of being positive and changed the message to "Please do remember to....". Try this out:)

5. Leave the place where others are indulging in negative conversation like slander, idle gossip, criticism etc. I always do it, and it helps in staying positive.

The power of words is further reinstated by the rigorous effort by scientists in capturing the hymns and chants of vedas and ancient spiritual scriptures. Medical science is using spiritual/ devotional music for curing chronic diseases. Agriculturists are using Gayatri Mantra for getting bountiful yield (and the results have been quite encouraging).

Some people have such a charm or positive aura surrounding them that we feel like being with them without any requirement too, on the contrary some people have such a repulsive aura that we dread going near them:(.  Let's come in the first category).

Happy talking.

Further to Thought Management

A further note on Thought Management in response to the comment given by Kritika.
Life is a lot like a roller coaster ride. For some of us the ride is too bumpy and the bumps are quite frequent, while for others a little less. But if one is in God's refuge and seeks HIS grace through good deeds and prayers, the bumps do not hurt all that badly.

We should not let a negative past influence us and even while battling with a tough situation one has to stay strongly positive, so as to fight it out. How negative have one person's experiences been viz-a-vis that of another cannot and should not be defined. And when one starts to look down he realises that there is a lot to be thankful for.

No method for being positive works unless one wants it to. We have to constantly instruct and train our minds to come to the positive track when it loses one (that's where the tips given in the blog on Thought Management work). Permanent satisfaction will come with practice, patience and perseverence for the same:)

Stay positive and happy, life is too beautiful, despite all odds.

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Women's Reservation Bill -is it needed?

In a country where Goddesses are worshipped and mothers are said to be the first form of God, do we need any kind of reservation for women? The ideal answer should be NO, we do not need any reservation.

The other day, after ratification of Women’s Reservation Bill in Rajya Sabha, I saw Barkha Dutt talking to Sonia Gandhi on one of the news channels. My initial reaction after seeing the two women of substance, was, that if we have more and more women like these, there shall be no need for Reservation in Parliament or anywhere else. But hold on... immediately after that interview, I saw the animal like behaviour (sorry for the harsh words) of some of our so called leaders who were throwing bits n pieces of paper on the Speaker amongst the uproar in RS. And then I realised, that as long as such contemporaries exist, Reservation for Women in Parliament would help.

But, this convinces me only on a superficial level, and somewhere within I feel that reservation is not enough for women empowerment (don’t confuse it with a feminist movement:)). Empowerment starts much before a woman reaches the eligible age to enter Parliament. It starts right when you have one in your family. Family is the first and foremost unit that nurtures a person-man or woman, a male or female child. If a girl child is welcomed with the same warmth and love as her male sibling (female foeticide is still at a growing rate in our country), given the same if not more opportunities, encouragement, support (not just financial but emotional and moral support too), a feel good factor, there shall be no need for any kind of reservation anywhere. It is very important for a family to make the female member strong and capable enough to make a standing of her own in any circumstances without compromising on her dignity and losing her feminine grace.  I'm lucky to have one such family (that's why kept on wondering initially if Reservation was required:))

Thought management

Light travels at a speed of 186000 miles per second. Can you guess the speed of our thoughts? Thoughts travel faster than light. In a fraction of a second there are millions of thoughts in our mind-positive or negative? I guess mostly they are negative- worrisome, anxious, brooding over not so happy past, worrying over future. Is’nt it?
The thought of a charitable hospitable or an atom bomb has its genesis in just a thought. So a small thought has the dynamic power to save a life or destroy many lives. Hence, it is very important to manage one’s thoughts. But how do we do it? Read on...
1. Power of repetition
What do we do when a dry ink bottle is stuck on our table? How do we clean the stains in the bottle? The answer is quite simple and predictable. Go on pouring clean water in the bottle and the stains will be washed; there will come a stage when the bottle is free of stains and has pure serene water. Now let’s apply this example to our thoughts. To remove the stains of negative thoughts imprinted in our minds, let’s go on pouring more and more positive and self assuring and happy thoughts (as given in my previous blog).

2. Power of orientation
Though I have not been very good at Physics during my school days (have been a Commerce student ever since then ;) ) I read about ‘ Power of Orientation’ –a law of physics in the book ‘Thought Power’ written by Swami Sivanand and found it to be very effective. The law says that, a mass of energy cannot create current or power unless connected with a magnet. How do we relate this to our thoughts? Our thoughts shall not yield the desired power to succeed in life unless connected with the Divine magnet- GOD. The previous blog mentions a bit about making a connection. Once this connection is established, no one can stop the power of thoughts to take us to heights of success.

3. Be the captain of your ship
What does the captain of a ship do while navigating the ship? What does he do when there are high and low tides in the sea? He changes the direction of the ship. An efficient captain is in full control of the ship in all situations else the ship is at a risk of sinking . Similarly, let’s be the captains of our mental ships. Whenever there is a negative thought, just change the direction of the ship (mind). Start recalling a happy moment, think of the joy derived by helping someone, chant a mantra, your favourite quotation, peep into the garden, onto the sky, stars, think of the beautiful colors of a rainbow-they are meant for you, just grab them with both your hands.
So now enjoy your thoughts:)

Association with wise

In life is it important to be associated with the wise? Let’s verify this with an example from the famous epic Mahabharat (I’m sure we all are familiar with it). Before the battle of Mahabharat, when one representative each, from the team of Pandavas & Kaurava goes to Lord Krishna for seeking His help, Krishna asks Arjun (Pandava) whether he wants Krishna or His army (a very powerful-Yadav Sena- an army with millions of soldiers and best of artillery; Arjun requests for Krishna Himself. And Duryodhan the representative of the Kauravas gets Krishna’s army and is very happy to get the same. We all know the result of the war. Who can defeat the team that has Lord Krishna Himself as their charioteer? The Pandavas are victorious in the battle of Mahabharat.
So if you are convinced that it is important to be associated in wise so as to be victorious in life, read on.......
How to associate yourself with the wise? It’s quite simple. Just a few interesting points that can be adopted in our day to day life.
1. Cultivate the habit of reading
A famous tennis player was once asked that how did he become so successful in his game. Can you imagine the reply? He said that when he started play, he used to play against his seniors who were quite successful in their game. As a result, he gave his best shot and with every game he started improving on his best shots and became a world class player. Though this example can be related in a lot many ways, let’s stick to reading for the time being. When we read something motivational, creative- like, biographies of achievers (who were once losers), books on self development, good fiction etc, our thoughts get the wings to give nothing but the best shot, we learn to look beyond constraints and think of soaring like an eagle. So, cultivate the habit of reading, be it –Swami Vivekanand, Warren Buffet, Ayn Rand or Dale Carnegie, motivational quotes..just anything effective. Start and end your day with reading something positively impactful.

2. Make a list of people who have influenced you 
I’m sure all of us are influenced by some or the other person at some or the other time. He/she could be anyone from Amitabh Bachhan to Sachin Tendulkar to Barrack Obama-just anyone who has influenced you.
Now let’s do a small exercise- on a blank sheet of paper make three columns:
a) Name of the person who has influenced you b) What do you like in him/ her c) How can you imbibe his/her qualities. I can tell you some of the common qualities that would come up- commitment to oneself and one’s goals, self discipline, zest to keep moving. You make your own list and paste it where it is visible and legible every day.

3. Get a coach/ mentor 
Someone who inspires you, helps you find a path when you lose one, guides you; he/ she could be a family member, friend, friend’s family member, neighbour, senior in office/ college/ school, teacher, just anyone with the above abilities. Then,

• Spend some time with such a person regularly
• Discuss your goals and plan of action
• When in problem, seek his/her advice
• Try to imbibe the qualities you like in him/her

 4. Get rid of negative thoughts/ emotions 

Oh they take all the energy away, please get rid of negative thoughts/ emotions asap. Is it possible? Sure......

• Repeat self affirming thoughts like, I shall not give up, I shall not feel de-motivated, I shall not get angry, I shall give my best etc. every morning and as and when required.
• Make a list of your blessings-who and what you have.
• Say a mantra, prayer; imagine the picture of someone/ something you adore when feeling negative. A lot more in on Positive Attitude in the forthcoming blogs..

 5. Get connected with nature and or God 

Observing a rainbow, a flock of birds, beautiful sky, sunshine gives not only a sense of joy and serenity, but also adds to the creativity and abundance within us.
Last, but most important, make a connection with the SUPREME LORD. Is it too early, difficult, boring? NO. The sooner we start, easier and interesting will our life be and victory shall be guaranteed. How do we make that connection?

• Listen to your inner voice.
• Talk to GOD as you talk to a dear one.
• Introspect and be ready to correct yourself seeking HIS help.
• SURRENDER not to the circumstances or failures, but to HIM.
• Pray- for others and yourself.

Enjoy .....