The parents of a thirteen year old school girl came to know of their intimate relationship with a boy which was going on since one year. The girl was not performing well at studies as well. The school authorities referred her along-with her parents to a practicing psychologist. After having a few sessions with the girl and her parents, the psychologist said that there is no problem with the girl and she does not require counselling; the problem was with the parents and they needed counselling. The parents labelled the psychologist as a fraud one and did not go to her again.
The actual problem was that the parents of the girl did not share a good relationship with each other and had serious fights frequently. The girl grew up in such a stressful atmosphere and got attracted to the love showed by a stranger in whatsoever manner. She lied to the parents quite often because she was scared of them and their non-acceptance.
The point that I am trying to bring is that like good parenting, good leadership also certain basic requirements:
1. Being a good role model- If the parents or leaders say something else and do something else it will not leave any impact and no one will follow such parents or leaders.
2. Trust & Acceptance - Unless we have complete trust in someone, we will not share our innermost feelings and thoughts. And when we do not share these there is a communication gap leading to repeated errors which can be disastrous at times. People speak untruth because they do not have the trust that the truth will be accepted.
Acceptance of the other person's failures and flaws leads to his complete trust in us. No one is perfect, a parent/ leader has to give an environment and required resources including emotional / mental security to his child/ follower to reach excellence.
3. Empowerment- When every person in a family or an organization feels empowered in his domain, he will give only his best with full commitment and integrity.
4. No comparison & criticism- When someone compares us with our siblings or colleagues making us feel inferior or criticises us saying that we do not know or we are absolutely wrong , we either get defensive against the person we are being compared with or get into a no action zone. However, healthy competition & constructive feedback are healthy since they do not make the other person feel inferior and are objective in nature.
Let's remember that relationships are to be nurtured perenially. The person in a senior position can make a big difference in making the relationship a stronger and happier one.
Please share your ideas and experiences.
Apologies for this long gap:) Have a wonderful week!
