Pleasure & Happiness

A lovely talk show on television a few days back, of which I could just get a few glimpses, inspired me to share these thoughts.
Is happiness same as pleasure?
A few sources of pleasure:
*Shopping
*Partying
*Going on a holiday
*Visit to a spa
*Watching movies
*Physical enjoyment of any nature
Some people derive great joy from such activities and attach happiness to the same. Are these really a source of happiness? Not really. They can surely provide some or a great deal of pleasure, relaxation, change but not happiness per se. Happiness cannot be derived from acts that have a short term effect or a mere gratifying effect. Then where does happiness come from? It comes from:
*Act of giving back
*Making someone’s life worthwhile
*Letting go & forgiving easily
*Helping someone & oneself attain self actualization
*Being with someone in their hour of need

*Enriching relationships
*Performing one’s duty as worship
*Sacrifice of ego & selfishness

Is it possible to use acts of pleasure to create happiness? Yes. How? When we try to bring pleasure into someone’s life, we end up making ourselves & the other person happy. I remember having noticed an American devotee of Sai Baba bringing street children into his air conditioned hotel room where he was staying in Puttaparthy, feeding them with delicacies, putting on cartoon channels on the television for them and playing with them. The gleaming faces of those children radiated everlasting bliss. So, little pleasures can be source of happiness when used for others.

Previous related post:

http://deepali-enlightenment.blogspot.com/2010/10/joy-of-giving.html

Wishing you a happy weekend:)

Please keep sharing your thoughts.

Anger & Stress Management

What happens when a project gets delayed and the customer threatens to cancel the order, a foreign delegate visits and on the same day there is labour unrest, you go back home tired after a long day’s work and see swollen faces waiting for you to listen to their woes and sort out the rows , your family member is fighting with a crucial disease and your boss needs you on job 24*7, a dear one does not live up to your expectations, does things contrary to your liking?
You feel highly stressed, maybe angry too and just don’t know who’s head to break. Is’nt it?
The list of such situations can be endless. There are instances when it is nearly impossible to control one’s temper or a highly negative reaction. And it is so very natural to be angry, sad, worried, stressed out, when something bad happens or is about to happen. No one stops us from expressing elation, then why can’t we express anguish or any negative emotion? We have still not become robots, have we?
NO, we have not become robots and are not even aspiring for becoming the same, yet we need to manage negative emotions because of their following ill effects:
Anger/ stress/ negative emotions-
* Produce toxins in blood
* Damage brain cells that are not regenerated
* Increase blood pressure, pressure on heart
* Increase risk of life threatening diseases
* Devastate a situation, relationship, work forever
* Key of your control goes to all and sundry
* Give your rivals a chance to misuse your emotions
* Take you into a vicious cycle of negativity
Hence, it is highly crucial to manage anger and other negative emotions. Here are a few techniques as per the Western & Eastern approaches.
Anger/ stress management techniques as per Western approach: All of them to be done alone.
* Bang on a pillow
* Hold a newspaper tightly and hit it on the table or wall remembering the person or situation that created negativity
* Scream and shout
* Cry
* Play a tough game
* Jump, party, dance
* Consume a mood elevator or an anti-depressant
Anger/ stress management techniques as per Eastern approach:
* Pray
* Chant a mantra, prayer, positive quotation
* Visualize happy moments
* Visualize people, things that bring you happiness and serenity
* Be in proximity with nature
* Read a good book
* Listen to soft music
* Meditate (gradually)
* Participate in bhajans-clap & sing with all your energy
* Go and help someone
I personally advocate the eastern approach because it provides a long term and perennial solution and helps one emerge, stronger, happier and successful. So, let's try these and manage our anger and stress, and enter the realms of everlasting success and happiness.

Some of the previous related posts:

http://deepali-enlightenment.blogspot.com/2010/09/stress-happiness.html

http://deepali-enlightenment.blogspot.com/2010/05/stress-effect-of-modern-corporate.html

http://deepali-enlightenment.blogspot.com/2010/03/thought-management.html

Please do share your ideas and leave your comments.

Empowerment

Would your wife feel empowered if she has a separate bank account with good balance and complete autonomy of its operation?
It might give a sense of financial empowerment to some extent, but it depends on factors like her perception, footing, independence, aspirations etc. What if she is someone who does’nt know how to even write a cheque? Should you still think of keeping a separate account in her name and letting her have the control over it? Dicey? If you wish to do this you’ll have to spend time and effort on helping her understand about elementary banking, maybe put effort in developing the interest in her to learn all this too. Is the time and effort worth it? YES it is. Though you might have nominated her in all your investments, and ensured her financial security in your absence, yet it is very important that she understands and knows what has to be done. I have seen in one of the banks where I worked earlier, that due to ignorance or lack of understanding of family members, sizeable FDs of a deceased were seized by the bank, though he had made proper nomination during his lifetime.
I sincerely appreciate the companies which have endeavoured to organize trainings for wives of staff members on various subjects including elementary banking, investing etc.
Coming back to empowerment, it is more than financial strength or independence. A few factors that add to empowerment are:
* Participative decision making
* Respect & compassion

* Trust
* Care
* Facilitating growth
* Encouragement
* Sensitivity
* Help overcome hurdles

Be it a close family member or a team member at workplace, the above ideas have similar connotation. Our team members too feel empowered when we trust and encourage them, be sensitive when required, help them overcome hurdles and grow not just in job but in life as well. And when we make someone feel empowered, we get more than expected from that person and the joy derived in the process is more than fulfilling. More on this in the forthcoming posts.

Please share your views and suggestions.