Friday, March 11, 2016

Emotional Intelligence-the eastern & western approach

As I complete Emotional Intelligence Practitioner Certification, I realize that there is a close resemblance between the eastern, more so, Indian spiritual techniques and, the western ones. The processes are a little different, but the purpose and even framework to some extent are similar.

Let us look at some of these similarities:

1. The western approach talks of creating boundaries with self and others so that we do not violate the other's boundaries and enmesh emotions. Enmeshment simply means feeling and living the other person's emotions, and is a common phenomena between us and  people we have intimate relationship with like parents, spouse, children etc. (enmeshment is not empathy). So when boundaries are crossed, enmeshment happens and it can lead to complete dissociation with self and association with the other and can stop us from handling a situation from a neutral perspective because we get overpowered by the other's emotion. A simple example of enmeshment is -parent's stress level going up during the child's exam, spouse getting anxious when the other is in appraisal.

Boundary with self, to me means not feeling guilty on missing perfection  every time, forgiving oneself if something just got missed from being accomplished. This is highly needed in this age of super competition and sky high targets and expectations. And it is more needed for Indian dedicated women.

The yogic practices, meditation, pranayam help us in reaching the desired state of detachment- a neutral position in which our sense of discrimination is very strong and we can see things the way they are without losing our sanity even in highly challenging situations. Our scriptures also guide us to lead a life of non-attachment with the fruit while performing our duties to the best of our effort.

2. Sculpting a new image of oneself, using the whoosh technique to create a new desired picture of self with the qualities expected and seeing oneself as having accomplished what one wants to is commonly done under the western approach.
We do the same using certain thought journey & yognidra techniques in the east.

3. Taking a meta position, that is a third party or neutral position in an argument, difficult situation, to heal self and relationships is propounded by the west. And the east suggests various forms of meditation in which one practices to go beyond body consciousness and reach soul consciousness.  This leads to reaching the utmost sense of neutrality. It also teaches us to refrain from taking the sense of doership; having sense of drishta & not karta and offering the fruit of one's actions to the Almighty.

4. Western techniques guide us to acknowledge & validate a person, the eastern approach teaches us to have an attitude of gratitude.

5. The western approach tells us to release unresourceful emotions and let go of the negativity associated with them, the eastern approach tells us to forget and forgive.

I can barely see any difference in both the approaches.

While there is both an art and a science in the western methods as they used brain based techniques and work on the neuro patterns and the techniques have to be administered appropriately; the eastern methods have the beauty of being simple, easy to practice, create a connection with the higher self, take one to the super conscious level, activate creativity, intuition. A dextrous combination of both can do wonders to enrich our life with happiness, success & peace. 

Have a lovely weekend!

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