Is anyone listening?

The other day I got a call from a friend’s cousin. We spoke for the first time ever and did not even know each other’s names till then since the relation was a distant one. In this very first conversation, this young girl shared her woes, the way she was being ill treated by her father & step-mother, her anxieties about her future, fears etc .  The call went on for an hour or more & towards the end she said- thank you so much for listening to me patiently and understanding my problems.

A day later, we went in a party organized by a family friend. There, I bumped into a lady who happened to be of my mother’s age. We just got to exchange a few niceties and there she went telling me the tales of her parents forcing her into marriage, her family supporting her husband while was going through a bad marriage & divorce, and life henceforth.

I was sadly taken aback at the way both, this girl half my age and this lady of my Mom’s age shared their grievances in the very first interaction; sadly because of the thought that is there such a dearth of people who can listen to you? Is life getting so fast paced and people getting so entwined in their own stuff that someone is bloated with problems and is ready to blurt all emotions on getting a patient ear even though the listener happens to be a stranger?

No wonder companies are investing into coaching of their executives by way of hiring professional coaches.  As I embark the journey of being a coach, just wish to list out a few points for being a good listener:

•      Remember that listening is not hearing. Hearing is a physical process, while listening is both physical & mental. One has to listen not just with one’s ears, but also with one’s heart.
•        Be empathetic while listening.
•        Do not get judgmental at all.
•        Respond with your paraphrases, do not react.
•        Listen with your body, mind & soul.

Let’s introspect and find out if we have been good listeners to the people in our immediate vicinity- family, friends, colleagues, employees, neighbors? Last but most important, do we find the time to even listen to our inner voice?

Do share your views and comments on http://deepali-enlightenment.blogspot.com/  or on deepali.enlt@gmail.com

"Don't take me for granted"

“Don’t take me for granted for heaven’s sake”, screamed Mukesh, a Relationship Manager in a foreign bank to his boss, when after repeated drudgery and obedience to the boss’s whims the boss insulted him in front of his team and sub-ordinates. A simple, hard working, sincere and ever helpful employee left the company because of constant misbehavior by his boss.

Personal egos, misuse of power, impatience are some of the causes adding to employee dissatisfaction and stress, leading to loss of good resource to the organization.

And yes, we do knowingly or unknowingly take people for granted.

During the high flying expedition into the corporate world, in the constant run to make a big buck, we often forget to acknowledge the people whose efforts and sacrifices have contributed to our journey of success.  We give them a feeling of being taken for granted. These people could be - a team member, subordinate, senior, an office boy/ messenger, a domestic help, liftman, security guard, parent, spouse, sibling, friend whose presence in our lives has made our life worth living in many ways.

Instead of respecting someone for their painstaking effort and sacrifice, we even have the shameless audacity to say - why did you leave it for me? Why did you do this for me? It was your decision, you had a choice, I didn’t compel you….and so on. While one might achieve material success for some time, one will lose out on important elements in relationships, respect and affection of team members, and maybe some numbers from HIS account of grace.

A little patience, accommodativeness, non-reactivity, and warmth can make life easier at both professional as well as personal fronts, and it can add value to the numbers that one achieves.

Have a lovely weekend!

Love as a motivator

Paro, a middle-aged woman does the household errands in a posh locality of Mumbai to make a living. She had a struggle some time bringing up her kids single handedly after losing her husband at a young age. Paro says she loves God and keeps on chanting his name while doing the cleaning and other chores at her employers’ places. She is taken very good care of by one of the families she works with and is treated with a lot of care and respect. This employer doesn’t hesitate to say that she is like his mother and feels happy to put a piece of sweet in her mouth.

Paro, in return, does not think twice before doing any extra work at this employer’s house, does not demand a hike in salary, comes to work even at 9PM, all out of her own choice saying that he treats me like his mother, why can’t I do a little for him like I do for my son.

I just wish to put forth two points here-

1.       Love, respect and care can go a long way in motivating an employee and gaining his loyalties. A human touch can do wonders in this fast track life. Love begets only love.

2.       Self-actualization can be a poor man’s motivator too. It is not necessary that someone has to first make money, receive accolades and then he will think of the higher self.  At least the lady mentioned above proves otherwise. Connecting with the higher self can actually increase one’s output at work and create happiness too.

Let’s love ourselves and those around us to create a happily productive environment.

 

Have a lovely weekend!

New job avenues for the good ones

I read an interesting news in the Economic Times on 9th April 2013 titled 'Taking Care of Your Granny? Keep at it, You May Land a Job'. It talked of new job prospects for candidates who know how to take care of their grandparents or the elderly, along-with some other opportunities. It was for jobs with a start-up into eldercare/new age old age home. I felt happy to read that in today’s times when all we hear about is the need for street smart and -------- people, there is a career potential for people who know and can take care of their elders.

Can we pause here and think for a minute that if there is a majority of such people in the organization who have-

• good values 
• love and compassion for elders/ others 
• patience to listen to others  
• ability to forgive or let go 
• mental space for others 
• accommodating nature, etc.

the workplace shall become a healthy and blossoming place; there shall be lesser room for office politics, individual egos and personal battles and hence the stress levels shall also go down. Team spirit and individual morale shall be high and thus the organization’s flag shall also fly high.

Let us make an individual effort to treat others well and uphold the basic human values and see how goodness multiplies and comes back. Let's truly believe in the goodness of goodness:)

Have a lovely weekend!