The other day I got a call from a
friend’s cousin. We spoke for the first time ever and did not even know each
other’s names till then since the relation was a distant one. In this very
first conversation, this young girl shared her woes, the way she was being ill
treated by her father & step-mother, her anxieties about her future, fears
etc . The call went on for an hour or
more & towards the end she said- thank you so much for listening to me
patiently and understanding my problems.
A day later, we went in a party
organized by a family friend. There, I bumped into a lady who happened to be of
my mother’s age. We just got to exchange a few niceties and there she went
telling me the tales of her parents forcing her into marriage, her family
supporting her husband while was going through a bad marriage & divorce,
and life henceforth.
I was sadly taken aback at the
way both, this girl half my age and this lady of my Mom’s age shared their
grievances in the very first interaction; sadly because of the thought that is
there such a dearth of people who can listen to you? Is life getting so fast
paced and people getting so entwined in their own stuff that someone is bloated
with problems and is ready to blurt all emotions on getting a patient ear even
though the listener happens to be a stranger?
No wonder companies are investing
into coaching of their executives by way of hiring professional coaches. As I embark the journey of being a coach,
just wish to list out a few points for being a good listener:
- Remember that listening is not hearing. Hearing is a physical process, while listening is both physical & mental. One has to listen not just with one’s ears, but also with one’s heart.
- Be empathetic while listening.
- Do not get judgmental at all.
- Respond with your paraphrases, do not react.
- Listen with your body, mind & soul.
Let’s introspect and find out if
we have been good listeners to the people in our immediate vicinity- family,
friends, colleagues, employees, neighbors? Last but most important, do we find
the time to even listen to our inner voice?
Do share your views and comments
on http://deepali-enlightenment.blogspot.com/ or on deepali.enlt@gmail.com
