Leadership & Parenting

The parents of a thirteen year old school girl came to know of their intimate relationship with a boy which was going on since one year. The girl was not performing well at studies as well. The school authorities referred her along-with her parents to a practicing psychologist. After having a few sessions with the girl and her parents, the psychologist said that there is no problem with the girl and she does not require counselling; the problem was with the parents and they needed counselling. The parents labelled the psychologist as a fraud one and did not go to her again.

The actual problem was that the parents of the girl did not share a good relationship with each other and had serious fights frequently. The girl grew up in such a stressful atmosphere and got attracted to the love showed by a stranger in whatsoever manner. She lied to the parents quite often because she was scared of them and their non-acceptance.

The point that I am trying to bring is that like good parenting, good leadership also certain basic requirements:

1. Being a good role model- If the parents or leaders say something else and do something else it will not leave any impact and no one will follow such parents or leaders.

2. Trust & Acceptance - Unless we have complete trust in someone, we will not share our innermost feelings and thoughts. And when we do not share these there is a communication gap leading to repeated errors which can be disastrous at times. People speak untruth because they do not have the trust that the truth will be accepted.

Acceptance of the other person's failures and flaws leads to his complete trust in us. No one is perfect, a parent/ leader has to give an environment and required resources including emotional / mental security to his child/ follower to reach excellence.

3. Empowerment- When every person in a family or an organization feels empowered in his domain, he will give only his best with full commitment and integrity.

4. No comparison & criticism- When someone compares us with our siblings or colleagues making us feel inferior or criticises us saying that we do not know or we are absolutely wrong , we either get defensive against the person we are being compared with or get into a no action zone. However, healthy competition & constructive feedback are healthy since they do not make the other person feel inferior and are objective in nature.

Let's remember that relationships are to be nurtured perenially. The person in a senior position can make a big difference in making the relationship a stronger and happier one.

Please share your ideas and experiences.

Apologies for this long gap:) Have a wonderful week!

Reverse Mentoring

I feel so elated on seeing an elderly person trying to learn working on a computer, using internet, asking a youngster to set some time to acquaint him with technology. The reason I feel good is that someone in late 70's and 80's is keen to learn from a person who could be of his grand child's age. It brings forth the following benefits:

-openness to learn

-receptiveness to new ideas

-accepting that one is not all perfect and even someone young can know some things more

-giving chance to a youngster to showcase his talent and thus boosting his confidence

-honest communication

-strengthening of mutual relationship

-reducing communication & generation gap

-helping the younger lot give their best shot

In terms of the corporate world, such a relationship is called reverse-mentoring. When a senior learns from his junior on the job, the concept of mentoring gets reversed & hence is known as reverse mentoring. A few companies, both Indian & MNCs have already put the concept in practice and are getting hearty results from the same. There are companies using mentoring as well as reverse mentoring between the same set of people where mentor becomes mentee in case of reverse mentoring, though there is no hard and fast rule to this effect. Looking to the skill set of an employee and the requirement of another employee in alignment with the organizational objectives, they are given the role of mentor and or mentee.

In context of reverse mentoring I remember the phrase - child is the father of man.
Heartening to see the wizards of the corporate world taking lessons from the younger lot and the capability of young talent.

Please keep sharing your ideas.

Happy New Year

As we come to wrap this year up, which made us go through many trials and triumphs, I wish to cease this moment to say thank you.

Thank you for your kind support, thank you for the trust you showed, thank you for your wonderful words of appreciation, thank you for your honest suggestions, thank you for catalysing my growth and thank you for being there.

May your reinforcement always be there.

May the coming year bring all happiness & God's grace to you & your loved ones.

Wishing you & your family a Very Happy & Prosperous New Year!

Reaction v/s Response

While communicating with people in all walks of lives, we come across various situations where communication comes to a standstill because either party gets into the mode of reacting.

Let’s have a look at the difference reaction and response can make on communication and relationships.
Reaction-abrupt actions or expression of thoughts in retort to someone’s words or actions. When one reacts, he closes all the channels of communication and the entire system of communication gets shut. Mind gets cluttered with negative thoughts and presumptions. It fails to be receptive. Reaction does not take one anywhere. The party reacting becomes out of reach and difficult to communicate with. This disrupts not just the communication, but also the situation and has a negative impact on the relationship of both the parties. So let’s learn to respond instead of reacting.
Response- well thought of and meaningful communication through words or actions.
Here are a few tips of learning how to respond:
-Take time before responding, if required 24 hours or more.
-Listen, comprehend and then respond.
-Keep yourself in the other person’s shoes and then respond.
-Exert self control so as not to react.
-Do not go on a unidirectional flight of negative thoughts.
-While you are on the receiving end of someone’s reaction, just stay patient.
-If the other person is over reacting, think that he has gone through a turbulent time and you are the first one to meet him after that turbulence, and treat him well.
-Before going to sleep, hand over all thoughts and problems to the Almighty and ask Him to handle the situation.

Your reactions & response to this post are welcome:)

Happiness- key to emotional health

If we need to run a few miles, what do we need? Energy, stamina, strength? Of course, else the run will be tiresome, painful, can rupture some tissues & muscles too. Hence in order to have a good run, one needs to have physical health; Similarly in order to have a good life one needs to have emotional health. Happiness is an important key to emotional well being.

How does one stay happy or emotionally healthy? Here are a few tips:

-Awareness about one’s thoughts
-Making a concerted choice to be happy
-Positive self talk & Repetition
-Silent sitting
-Owning the responsibility of one’s choices/decisions
-Introspection

The way we feel or behave is not for others, but for ourselves. So let us choose how we want to think, feel and be in all our engagements & relationships.

Some of the ideas shared in the post are from a television programme called Awakening with Brahmakumaris.
Your ideas and comments are a key to the writer’s happiness:) Please do share.

Happy Diwali

WISHING YOU & FAMILY A VERY HAPPY & PROSPEROUS DIWALI!

Inspirational lessons from the life of Steve Jobs

Though the morning newspaper gave the sad news of death of a genius, but after going through the details which gave an insight into the troughs and ups of his life, I was left with nothing less than a high dose of motivation and learning from the life of Steve Jobs.
For someone born to an unwed college girl, adopted by labour parents, could anyone imagine that Steve Jobs would leave a mark not just in the tech world, but on all of us? Guess not!

So here are a few inspirational lessons from the life of Steve Jobs:

1. Don’t let any force or circumstance suppress your creative talent.
2. Put wings to your thoughts (positive ones of course) they’ll make you fly.
3. Find the love of your life and love your work.
4. Learn to fight out all odds, no matter what their size and number be.
5. Failures come in life only to take you higher to a place that you deserve.
6. Don’t ever give up even in the worst of crisis.
7. When on a dead end, carve new ways.
8. Constraints and problems are nowhere, but in your mind.
9. Don’t run away from your responsibilities.
10. Best of ideas come when the mind is calm and quiet.
11. Life becomes very easy when one follows the path of spirituality. When on a spiritual quest, one gets all the answers.
12. Live on a daily basis and give your best to life.
13. Always follow your heart and listen to your inner voice.
14. Nothing stays forever.
15. Never say die; face life victoriously even in the face of death.

16. Leave a good name behind and stay in people's hearts forever.

Your ideas and comments are very valuable. Please do share them :)

7 Keys to Happiness

1. Ignore
Ignore the negative remarks and opinions of others. Do not react. Give yourself 24 hours, analyze in silence and then, if required, respond. But at the same time, remember that genuine criticism brings progress.

2. Maintain
Maintain balance in life; balance of qualities, efforts and priorities as per requirement.

3. Avoid
Avoid expectations. Remember that expectations are inversely proportional to happiness; higher the expectations, lower the happiness, and vice-versa.

4. Forget
Forget the past. 80% of our thoughts are of the past. If we hold a glass in a hand for 5 minutes, there will be no affect, if we hold it 24 hours, our hand will become stiff and painful it might make us paralytic as well. So, do not hold the past to an extent that it starts damaging.

5. Remember
Remember that life is a game and we all are players. A good batsman gives his best to all kinds of balls and does not run away from the tough ones. Similarly, we must play well in all situations that we come across in life.

6. Stop
Stop being jealous and do not compare yourself with anybody. Surpass your own self.

7. Establish
Establish a true relationship with God. HE alone stands by us in all conditions and situations unconditionally.

The above inputs are from a workshop that was conducted by The Brahmakumari Mission.

Have a lovely week ahead!

While we celebrate Independence Day singing songs of joy & glory we need to ask ourselves if we are truly independent.
Before pointing a finger at anyone let’s do some self-introspection. Are we independent of our fears, greed, endless & useless desires, compulsive negative behaviours? Do we extend a helping hand when a chance comes our way? Do we raise our voice for the right cause?

While doing some self-introspection myself, what comes to my mind is that we are privileged to be born in a country which has a truly rich culture that makes it stand apart from any other country in the rest of the world. India is the only country where the land and river are also addressed as mother (though a mother is treated as one or not is another sad question). Now it's time to do one's duty well.

So let’s take a pledge on this Independence Day to become independent in the real sense and spirit of the term.

Wishing you a Very Happy Independence Day!

Stay Positive-Let Go

How many times people or situations behave the way we want them to? Rarely, is’nt it? Yet we get disturbed, react, argue, fight, feel cheated and spoil our own day and happiness. A few examples of such situations:
-Someone criticises us
-Someone finds fault with us or our work
-We say something, but it is perceived differently and someone reacts differently
-Someone close behaves coldly or badly
-Our command is not followed
-Road rage
We get disturbed because we try to control people and situations and in the process lose our own control. Do we realise that as time passes, these things stop playing any role in our life, though they were not very significant in the beginning too. Still we lose our precious time, energy and happiness fretting and fuming about such insignificant things. All we needed to do is to let go. Let go of what? how? Let go of those negative feelings, ego, desire to control, pain (which is self inflicted).
How to let go?
-Confront & resolve, while saying that you care
-Use empathy
-Take a disciplinary action if there is a breach of ethics/ values
-Understand that everyone grows up in different environment and has different set of experiences, hence the difference
-Remember that it is not the end of the world
-Forget & forgive
-Remember that things happen or do not happen as per the divine plan, and He has better plans for us.
Life is too short and beautiful, not to- let go and stay happy:)

Have a lovely weekend!

Your comments and ideas or of immense value. Please keep sharing.