Happy New Year

Wish you & your loved ones a very happy & prosperous new year!

May you-

Grow by leaps & bounds, and grow in humility too

Make your choices wisely and heartily

Live with the realization that the means you use to achieve ends make all the difference

Display an attitude of gratitude for all that you have-big or small

Care for those who matter & for whom you matter

Let go of all the negativity

Believe in the infinite power of prayer & pray for others

Live every moment in love.

Life changing effect of Neuro Linguistic Programming

In one of my workshops called, A New Me, while we were using a tool to overcome the strongest negative emotion of the participants, there was one participant who shared his experience post applying the tool. The negative emotion that he wanted to overcome was anger and it had its roots in his early school days where he was beaten by his teacher day in and day out . So much was his anger on that teacher that he had decided to become a teacher and beat every student to quench his sadistic thirst against the fraternity of teachers. I and the entire group were taken aback to know this when he shared that "if I had not attended this workshop I would have become a teacher and beaten up every student." While it was an achievement that the workshop could help him overcome not  just anger, but a latent volcano that was waiting to erupt someday. 

A few points to ponder on:

1. Emotions play a very important role in our lives. They actively or passively affect our personal and professional lives-thought process, behaviour, communication, inter-personal relationships; in addition to health and overall well being.

2. Though on a superficial or conscious level, we think that we have forgotten and or forgiven the errant, but at the sub-conscious level we keep holding the grudge and the pain.

3. Past experiences, especially the negative ones somewhere condition our behaviour and limit our belief system.

While I am a strong believer of a spiritual approach in life, I have found Neuro Linguistic Programming to be highly effective in helping people overcome such negative emotions arising out of a painful past. The scientific brain based tools coupled with the Practitioner or trainer's spiritual approach help the participant in realising the ill effect of holding on to negativity and letting go of the same.

Looking forward to sharing more such experiences soon:)

Have a lovely week!

Remember to leave your comment.

Change your words, change your world!

It has now been proved by science that sound does not get destroyed, it stays in the atmosphere and leaves its effect, good or bad. According to newspaper reports, scientists are also trying to get the original enunciation of Bhagvad Gita as articulated by Shri Krishna on the grounds of Kurukshetra.

While our thoughts determine our words, it is quite interesting to know that the reverse is also true. Our words effect the way we think and feel. Words can make or break our world. While I was doing a course in Neuro Linguistic Programming, the trainer gave a very simple example- when you say I am suffering from cold, you choose the suffering. And when you say this cold is passing through me, you know nothing of suffering. Human brain does not understand pain, it is we who tell the brain that we are in pain and hence feel accordingly. Lot of pain and suffering will go away when we use more positive and less harsh words with ourselves and others.

In our interaction with people, we often forget that they are not result producing machines, there is some element of emotion and sensitivity in them too. While it is natural to have a bout of emotion and anger  at certain times, but then can we expect the person on the receiving end to always be non-reactive and calm. And even if that person is non-reactive, there are many chances that we might lose him soon. He might not react or respond looking at the hierarchy of the relationship, his not so strong hold on the set up or some other reason, but he will always look for ways to avoid us. This someone could also be someone who we think to be our own.It will be an absolutely losing relationship. And such losses can never made up. 

So, change your words, change your world! Time to do some soul searching to see which world we want to create for ourselves.

In the end, just remember that if you cannot help, at least talk helpfully!

Empowering relationships

On this Women’s Day, one of the newspapers covered letters written by super achiever Moms to their daughters. One such letter was written by Chanda Kochar, the CEO of ICICI Bank to her daughter who is doing a course Engineering. The gist of the letter that motivated me to write this article is-

You have chosen a not so popular field. Go ahead and do what you want to do. Don’t think of anyone or anything and just do what you want.

A parent saying this to a young child means-

• She has complete trust in the child
• She has full confidence in her upbringing
• The relationship is really strong.
• This also conveys that, irrespective of the outcome, we shall be there for you.

This shall make the child highly responsible for her actions. She shall always respect and admire her parent for giving her not just resources, but all the encouragement and support that one needs to grow as a complete individual in life. 

Now this is what I call Empowerment. The parent is not just making the child empowered, but is empowering the relationship too.

And this is true for all our relationships-with spouse, child, parents, friends, co-workers & bosses.

When our relationships at workplace and home become so strong, we have mutual trust and confidence, the place and the relationship becomes a source of happiness rather than a cause of stress. We then look forward to being there and with those people.

Let’s introspect and find out if we are nurturing our relationships or avoiding confrontation/ communication. 

Let us do our best to make our relations truly empowered. 

Power of blessings

I happened to read a lovely article on the power of blessings in the magazine Life Positive yesterday. The same has inspired me to share my thoughts.

We come across many situations that seem to be impossible to handle at that time, yet we get through them smoothly; we come across a severe accident and come out of it without even a scratch; we narrowly escape an adversity and come unharmed. When we reflect on what happened v/s what could have happened, do we realize that it was only and only God’s grace that worked on us?

 We, at times take all the credit and at times share with the people around us, and even extend it to luck. Do we ever think how the blessings of our elders, or anyone who blessed us anytime helped us? 

Blessings, a good word or earnest prayers and wishes can do miracles. The power of thoughts and spoken words is being recognized by science also as, it believes that we all are surrounded by energy fields and thoughts & words have a positive or negative effect on the energy field around us and hence we are impacted.

I firmly believe in the wonders blessings can do. God’s  grace cannot stop flowing to someone who has his parents' blessings, blessings of elders or just anyone, who has wished truly and we have respected the wishes or blessings. Yes, the element of genuineness on both sides, at the side of giver and receiver has to be there. The giver has to have sincere feelings and the receiver has to value what the giver said.

So anyone –a parent, an elder one, a boss, colleague, helper, maid, even a stranger, anyone–dead or alive, irrespective of hierarchy of any kind can do beautiful things to our life with his blessings. So, in the new year let’s do two things right away:

1.        Bless everyone we come across
2.     Be deserving  of someone’s blessings  

 Let’s also be thankful for all the blessings life/ Almighty has bestowed upon us.

Be happy! Have a blessed life!

Happy New Year

Wishing you & your loved ones 

A VERY HAPPY & PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR!

May your life be filled with health, happiness, prosperity & God's grace!

Is anyone listening?

The other day I got a call from a friend’s cousin. We spoke for the first time ever and did not even know each other’s names till then since the relation was a distant one. In this very first conversation, this young girl shared her woes, the way she was being ill treated by her father & step-mother, her anxieties about her future, fears etc .  The call went on for an hour or more & towards the end she said- thank you so much for listening to me patiently and understanding my problems.

A day later, we went in a party organized by a family friend. There, I bumped into a lady who happened to be of my mother’s age. We just got to exchange a few niceties and there she went telling me the tales of her parents forcing her into marriage, her family supporting her husband while was going through a bad marriage & divorce, and life henceforth.

I was sadly taken aback at the way both, this girl half my age and this lady of my Mom’s age shared their grievances in the very first interaction; sadly because of the thought that is there such a dearth of people who can listen to you? Is life getting so fast paced and people getting so entwined in their own stuff that someone is bloated with problems and is ready to blurt all emotions on getting a patient ear even though the listener happens to be a stranger?

No wonder companies are investing into coaching of their executives by way of hiring professional coaches.  As I embark the journey of being a coach, just wish to list out a few points for being a good listener:

•      Remember that listening is not hearing. Hearing is a physical process, while listening is both physical & mental. One has to listen not just with one’s ears, but also with one’s heart.
•        Be empathetic while listening.
•        Do not get judgmental at all.
•        Respond with your paraphrases, do not react.
•        Listen with your body, mind & soul.

Let’s introspect and find out if we have been good listeners to the people in our immediate vicinity- family, friends, colleagues, employees, neighbors? Last but most important, do we find the time to even listen to our inner voice?

Do share your views and comments on http://deepali-enlightenment.blogspot.com/  or on deepali.enlt@gmail.com

"Don't take me for granted"

“Don’t take me for granted for heaven’s sake”, screamed Mukesh, a Relationship Manager in a foreign bank to his boss, when after repeated drudgery and obedience to the boss’s whims the boss insulted him in front of his team and sub-ordinates. A simple, hard working, sincere and ever helpful employee left the company because of constant misbehavior by his boss.

Personal egos, misuse of power, impatience are some of the causes adding to employee dissatisfaction and stress, leading to loss of good resource to the organization.

And yes, we do knowingly or unknowingly take people for granted.

During the high flying expedition into the corporate world, in the constant run to make a big buck, we often forget to acknowledge the people whose efforts and sacrifices have contributed to our journey of success.  We give them a feeling of being taken for granted. These people could be - a team member, subordinate, senior, an office boy/ messenger, a domestic help, liftman, security guard, parent, spouse, sibling, friend whose presence in our lives has made our life worth living in many ways.

Instead of respecting someone for their painstaking effort and sacrifice, we even have the shameless audacity to say - why did you leave it for me? Why did you do this for me? It was your decision, you had a choice, I didn’t compel you….and so on. While one might achieve material success for some time, one will lose out on important elements in relationships, respect and affection of team members, and maybe some numbers from HIS account of grace.

A little patience, accommodativeness, non-reactivity, and warmth can make life easier at both professional as well as personal fronts, and it can add value to the numbers that one achieves.

Have a lovely weekend!

Love as a motivator

Paro, a middle-aged woman does the household errands in a posh locality of Mumbai to make a living. She had a struggle some time bringing up her kids single handedly after losing her husband at a young age. Paro says she loves God and keeps on chanting his name while doing the cleaning and other chores at her employers’ places. She is taken very good care of by one of the families she works with and is treated with a lot of care and respect. This employer doesn’t hesitate to say that she is like his mother and feels happy to put a piece of sweet in her mouth.

Paro, in return, does not think twice before doing any extra work at this employer’s house, does not demand a hike in salary, comes to work even at 9PM, all out of her own choice saying that he treats me like his mother, why can’t I do a little for him like I do for my son.

I just wish to put forth two points here-

1.       Love, respect and care can go a long way in motivating an employee and gaining his loyalties. A human touch can do wonders in this fast track life. Love begets only love.

2.       Self-actualization can be a poor man’s motivator too. It is not necessary that someone has to first make money, receive accolades and then he will think of the higher self.  At least the lady mentioned above proves otherwise. Connecting with the higher self can actually increase one’s output at work and create happiness too.

Let’s love ourselves and those around us to create a happily productive environment.

 

Have a lovely weekend!

New job avenues for the good ones

I read an interesting news in the Economic Times on 9th April 2013 titled 'Taking Care of Your Granny? Keep at it, You May Land a Job'. It talked of new job prospects for candidates who know how to take care of their grandparents or the elderly, along-with some other opportunities. It was for jobs with a start-up into eldercare/new age old age home. I felt happy to read that in today’s times when all we hear about is the need for street smart and -------- people, there is a career potential for people who know and can take care of their elders.

Can we pause here and think for a minute that if there is a majority of such people in the organization who have-

• good values 
• love and compassion for elders/ others 
• patience to listen to others  
• ability to forgive or let go 
• mental space for others 
• accommodating nature, etc.

the workplace shall become a healthy and blossoming place; there shall be lesser room for office politics, individual egos and personal battles and hence the stress levels shall also go down. Team spirit and individual morale shall be high and thus the organization’s flag shall also fly high.

Let us make an individual effort to treat others well and uphold the basic human values and see how goodness multiplies and comes back. Let's truly believe in the goodness of goodness:)

Have a lovely weekend!