Self Appreciation­- Empowerment Series

While the soul is free from appreciation or criticism, it is the mortal being in each one of us that craves for appreciation, that too external. Abraham Maslow in his theory of hierarchy of needs in motivation places ‘Recognition’ in the middle, just before Self esteem. Indeed recognition and appreciation do give a boost to  self esteem. That’s also where we talk of the power of positive words as they can make or break a person.

Having said, the fact is that forget appreciation, many a times there is no acknowledgement also because we get so used to taking people and things for granted and everything starts becoming just another piece of responsibility, be it at work or home. A friend recently shared that when she said “thank you Laxmi! Thank you for coming at 6 in the morning and cooking for us, my son (a special child) makes it to school on time with his 2 tiffins only because of you” to her cook, Laxmi was so elated and then her commitment levels increased like never before.

While Laxmi got her due credit, what about us? Are we somewhere taking ourselves for granted too? Do we recognize our own self worth? Do we ever sit to think about what all good we do?; we handle a multitude of responsibilities and take so much in our stride, at times emerge with a new learning...

Don’t we have a responsibility towards our own selves? After all if you want to keep other happy, keep yourself happy first. If the self is not happy and empowered, it can never spread happiness and positivity and everything will appear as a drudgery or mere responsibility.

As we move toward the New Year let’s sit back and recall the good things we did, appreciate ourselves and approach the New Year with a sense of  delight . This will not just make us happy, it will also inspire us to continue doing good with a sense of inner joy.

Empowerment-The role of Conditioning

While a lot has been said about gender equality & women empowerment, it's time we do a little soul searching about our role in empowering and or dis-empowering a girl.

I hear a lot of young mothers telling their little weeping sons -"are you girl you are crying? Stop crying, be a man, be strong; if you cry you will become a girl". I get taken aback when so called educated men and women talk in this language. By making such statement, we are conditioning the young mind to believe that-

a) Boys don't cry, or it's absolutely incorrect for boys or men to cry

b) Crying is an act of weakness

c) Boys/men are strong & girls/ women are weak

The young boy will grow up holding these false notions very closely in his mind the consequence of which will be- he will be ill at ease to express his emotions;  and will never accept a female as an equal forget better in any sphere of life. He has been raised with a possibly unknown gender bias.

Recently I got a shock again when someone who apparently appears to be quite modern made a remark that left me thinking. She said that " If ABC (her son) was a girl (daughter) I would never send her for swimming, look how tanned he is". I managed to keep quiet with somewhat difficulty. This kind of a statement is a clear message that it's not good for girls to have a not so fair complexion; after all fair skin sells faster & better in the marriage market. 

Where is the discrimination coming from? When the parents themselves give such differentiating messages to kids, where will there be a level playing field? Even if the government, or an organization provide a level playing field, will these children, now adults respond equally and treat each other as equals? 

There can be n number of laws and programs on gender equality, Sexual Harassment Prevention, Prohibition & Redressal, etc.; unless there is a change in mindset, the culture in an organization or society will not change. Not to undermine the importance of the laws, they play a vital role in enforcing safety and security and provide remedial measures; a mindset shift will create a feeling of security and belongingness.