Energy Audit

 To save the environment and finances, companies and even some households carry out energy audit. This helps them keep a check on use and misuse of energy and helps in preserving the scarce resources.
Can we do a similar exercise for our energy-physical as well as mental? Can we carry out our own energy audit? Yes, we can and we should.
Whatever outcome we get in life is mostly a result of our investment of energy. So we need to check two things:

 1. Mental energy-What kind of thoughts are occupying our mental space? Is our mind full of waste thoughts-thoughts of worry, fear, anxiety, anger, hatred, jealousy? Are most of our thoughts about the past or the future? Now just imagine if the place where we live or work is full of waste, will we be productive, be able to do what we want to do? Similarly, if the mental space is occupied by wasteful thoughts, will we be productive or creative? Never. 

2. Physical energy-Actions and words need to be in sync with thoughts otherwise there will again be a seepage of energy. 

Hence it is very important that we carry out a regular audit of our own energy. Just two simple steps:

1. After every few hours, check your thoughts. If they are negative/ wasteful just navigate consciously towards the positive and productive thoughts.

2. Before going to bed carry out a brief exercise of self introspection-visualize everything done in the day like a film. Something will be right, something will be not so right. Whatever is not so right, just edit it- say cut, cut, cut and promise not to repeat it.

These small exercises will help us channelize our energy in the right direction. And when our thoughts, words and actions synchronize in the right direction, right energy is produced and somewhere the law of attraction works and nature conspires to work with and for us:)

Have a lovely weekend!

 

3A,FL Model for Conflict Resolution

Conflicts are natural in any relationship. No two people will feel or behave the way the other does or expects all the time because we are humans and cannot always function in a standardized fashion. While it is normal to be in conflict situations, what is important is how one responds to or resolves these situations. Any relationship-in personal and or professional life can take an ugly form when conflicts are left unresolved or when there is a blame game.

For the health of the relationship and for the mutual benefit of individuals, it is imperative that there is transmission of positive energy. Energy between two people can get:

1. Reflected-we give back what we receive- positive or negative. This is the most common form of energy exchange.

2.Absorbed-while we do not give it back, we retain the negative energy and somewhere it affects our thought process, emotions and behaviour towards the sender. This happens when the receiver out of fear or respect, absorbs the negativity.

3.Transformation- The ideal form of energy exchange is when despite getting negative energy, we are not absorbing it and are sending back only positive energy. This transformation of energy is very crucial for any relationship to thrive.

I thought of a 3A,FL model that shall help in transforming energy and resolving conflicts.

Ask-1) Can I handle this situation differently?

        2) Is it important for me to feel and behave negatively?.... to lose control?

        3) Is there anything worthwhile in this person? 

Accept people the way they are, of course without compromising on values

Agree to disagree and give the other person benefit of the same

Forget & forgive

Let go  

When 3A,FL model is backed by love (for people in general) and spiritual strength, relationships will bloom and so will people.

Have a lovely weekend!

Do leave your thoughts and join my blog at www.deepali-enlightenment.blogspot.in/

Happy New Year

Wish you & your loved ones a very happy & prosperous new year!

May you-

Grow by leaps & bounds, and grow in humility too

Make your choices wisely and heartily

Live with the realization that the means you use to achieve ends make all the difference

Display an attitude of gratitude for all that you have-big or small

Care for those who matter & for whom you matter

Let go of all the negativity

Believe in the infinite power of prayer & pray for others

Live every moment in love.

Life changing effect of Neuro Linguistic Programming

In one of my workshops called, A New Me, while we were using a tool to overcome the strongest negative emotion of the participants, there was one participant who shared his experience post applying the tool. The negative emotion that he wanted to overcome was anger and it had its roots in his early school days where he was beaten by his teacher day in and day out . So much was his anger on that teacher that he had decided to become a teacher and beat every student to quench his sadistic thirst against the fraternity of teachers. I and the entire group were taken aback to know this when he shared that "if I had not attended this workshop I would have become a teacher and beaten up every student." While it was an achievement that the workshop could help him overcome not  just anger, but a latent volcano that was waiting to erupt someday. 

A few points to ponder on:

1. Emotions play a very important role in our lives. They actively or passively affect our personal and professional lives-thought process, behaviour, communication, inter-personal relationships; in addition to health and overall well being.

2. Though on a superficial or conscious level, we think that we have forgotten and or forgiven the errant, but at the sub-conscious level we keep holding the grudge and the pain.

3. Past experiences, especially the negative ones somewhere condition our behaviour and limit our belief system.

While I am a strong believer of a spiritual approach in life, I have found Neuro Linguistic Programming to be highly effective in helping people overcome such negative emotions arising out of a painful past. The scientific brain based tools coupled with the Practitioner or trainer's spiritual approach help the participant in realising the ill effect of holding on to negativity and letting go of the same.

Looking forward to sharing more such experiences soon:)

Have a lovely week!

Remember to leave your comment.

Change your words, change your world!

It has now been proved by science that sound does not get destroyed, it stays in the atmosphere and leaves its effect, good or bad. According to newspaper reports, scientists are also trying to get the original enunciation of Bhagvad Gita as articulated by Shri Krishna on the grounds of Kurukshetra.

While our thoughts determine our words, it is quite interesting to know that the reverse is also true. Our words effect the way we think and feel. Words can make or break our world. While I was doing a course in Neuro Linguistic Programming, the trainer gave a very simple example- when you say I am suffering from cold, you choose the suffering. And when you say this cold is passing through me, you know nothing of suffering. Human brain does not understand pain, it is we who tell the brain that we are in pain and hence feel accordingly. Lot of pain and suffering will go away when we use more positive and less harsh words with ourselves and others.

In our interaction with people, we often forget that they are not result producing machines, there is some element of emotion and sensitivity in them too. While it is natural to have a bout of emotion and anger  at certain times, but then can we expect the person on the receiving end to always be non-reactive and calm. And even if that person is non-reactive, there are many chances that we might lose him soon. He might not react or respond looking at the hierarchy of the relationship, his not so strong hold on the set up or some other reason, but he will always look for ways to avoid us. This someone could also be someone who we think to be our own.It will be an absolutely losing relationship. And such losses can never made up. 

So, change your words, change your world! Time to do some soul searching to see which world we want to create for ourselves.

In the end, just remember that if you cannot help, at least talk helpfully!

Empowering relationships

On this Women’s Day, one of the newspapers covered letters written by super achiever Moms to their daughters. One such letter was written by Chanda Kochar, the CEO of ICICI Bank to her daughter who is doing a course Engineering. The gist of the letter that motivated me to write this article is-

You have chosen a not so popular field. Go ahead and do what you want to do. Don’t think of anyone or anything and just do what you want.

A parent saying this to a young child means-

• She has complete trust in the child
• She has full confidence in her upbringing
• The relationship is really strong.
• This also conveys that, irrespective of the outcome, we shall be there for you.

This shall make the child highly responsible for her actions. She shall always respect and admire her parent for giving her not just resources, but all the encouragement and support that one needs to grow as a complete individual in life. 

Now this is what I call Empowerment. The parent is not just making the child empowered, but is empowering the relationship too.

And this is true for all our relationships-with spouse, child, parents, friends, co-workers & bosses.

When our relationships at workplace and home become so strong, we have mutual trust and confidence, the place and the relationship becomes a source of happiness rather than a cause of stress. We then look forward to being there and with those people.

Let’s introspect and find out if we are nurturing our relationships or avoiding confrontation/ communication. 

Let us do our best to make our relations truly empowered. 

Power of blessings

I happened to read a lovely article on the power of blessings in the magazine Life Positive yesterday. The same has inspired me to share my thoughts.

We come across many situations that seem to be impossible to handle at that time, yet we get through them smoothly; we come across a severe accident and come out of it without even a scratch; we narrowly escape an adversity and come unharmed. When we reflect on what happened v/s what could have happened, do we realize that it was only and only God’s grace that worked on us?

 We, at times take all the credit and at times share with the people around us, and even extend it to luck. Do we ever think how the blessings of our elders, or anyone who blessed us anytime helped us? 

Blessings, a good word or earnest prayers and wishes can do miracles. The power of thoughts and spoken words is being recognized by science also as, it believes that we all are surrounded by energy fields and thoughts & words have a positive or negative effect on the energy field around us and hence we are impacted.

I firmly believe in the wonders blessings can do. God’s  grace cannot stop flowing to someone who has his parents' blessings, blessings of elders or just anyone, who has wished truly and we have respected the wishes or blessings. Yes, the element of genuineness on both sides, at the side of giver and receiver has to be there. The giver has to have sincere feelings and the receiver has to value what the giver said.

So anyone –a parent, an elder one, a boss, colleague, helper, maid, even a stranger, anyone–dead or alive, irrespective of hierarchy of any kind can do beautiful things to our life with his blessings. So, in the new year let’s do two things right away:

1.        Bless everyone we come across
2.     Be deserving  of someone’s blessings  

 Let’s also be thankful for all the blessings life/ Almighty has bestowed upon us.

Be happy! Have a blessed life!

Happy New Year

Wishing you & your loved ones 

A VERY HAPPY & PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR!

May your life be filled with health, happiness, prosperity & God's grace!

Is anyone listening?

The other day I got a call from a friend’s cousin. We spoke for the first time ever and did not even know each other’s names till then since the relation was a distant one. In this very first conversation, this young girl shared her woes, the way she was being ill treated by her father & step-mother, her anxieties about her future, fears etc .  The call went on for an hour or more & towards the end she said- thank you so much for listening to me patiently and understanding my problems.

A day later, we went in a party organized by a family friend. There, I bumped into a lady who happened to be of my mother’s age. We just got to exchange a few niceties and there she went telling me the tales of her parents forcing her into marriage, her family supporting her husband while was going through a bad marriage & divorce, and life henceforth.

I was sadly taken aback at the way both, this girl half my age and this lady of my Mom’s age shared their grievances in the very first interaction; sadly because of the thought that is there such a dearth of people who can listen to you? Is life getting so fast paced and people getting so entwined in their own stuff that someone is bloated with problems and is ready to blurt all emotions on getting a patient ear even though the listener happens to be a stranger?

No wonder companies are investing into coaching of their executives by way of hiring professional coaches.  As I embark the journey of being a coach, just wish to list out a few points for being a good listener:

•      Remember that listening is not hearing. Hearing is a physical process, while listening is both physical & mental. One has to listen not just with one’s ears, but also with one’s heart.
•        Be empathetic while listening.
•        Do not get judgmental at all.
•        Respond with your paraphrases, do not react.
•        Listen with your body, mind & soul.

Let’s introspect and find out if we have been good listeners to the people in our immediate vicinity- family, friends, colleagues, employees, neighbors? Last but most important, do we find the time to even listen to our inner voice?

Do share your views and comments on http://deepali-enlightenment.blogspot.com/  or on deepali.enlt@gmail.com

"Don't take me for granted"

“Don’t take me for granted for heaven’s sake”, screamed Mukesh, a Relationship Manager in a foreign bank to his boss, when after repeated drudgery and obedience to the boss’s whims the boss insulted him in front of his team and sub-ordinates. A simple, hard working, sincere and ever helpful employee left the company because of constant misbehavior by his boss.

Personal egos, misuse of power, impatience are some of the causes adding to employee dissatisfaction and stress, leading to loss of good resource to the organization.

And yes, we do knowingly or unknowingly take people for granted.

During the high flying expedition into the corporate world, in the constant run to make a big buck, we often forget to acknowledge the people whose efforts and sacrifices have contributed to our journey of success.  We give them a feeling of being taken for granted. These people could be - a team member, subordinate, senior, an office boy/ messenger, a domestic help, liftman, security guard, parent, spouse, sibling, friend whose presence in our lives has made our life worth living in many ways.

Instead of respecting someone for their painstaking effort and sacrifice, we even have the shameless audacity to say - why did you leave it for me? Why did you do this for me? It was your decision, you had a choice, I didn’t compel you….and so on. While one might achieve material success for some time, one will lose out on important elements in relationships, respect and affection of team members, and maybe some numbers from HIS account of grace.

A little patience, accommodativeness, non-reactivity, and warmth can make life easier at both professional as well as personal fronts, and it can add value to the numbers that one achieves.

Have a lovely weekend!